Popular Nigerian content creator and actress, Kiekie, has shared a deeply personal reflection on the unsolicited opinions and societal pressures she has faced since getting married and becoming a mother.
Speaking on the I Said What I Said Podcast, the media personality opened up about the challenges of navigating public expectations while staying true to herself.
With her usual candor and humor, Kiekie recounted some of the surprising and, at times, frustrating experiences she’s had since entering this new phase of life.
One of the major issues she highlighted was the criticism about her sense of style. According to her, some people have taken it upon themselves to decide what a married woman should or shouldn’t wear.
“I started seeing the comments where people were telling me that I don’t dress like a married woman,” she said.
“I literally had to Google the dress code of a married woman and didn’t see anything. Nobody has said anything about how married women are supposed to dress.”
Kiekie expressed genuine confusion over the notion, stressing that marriage should not strip a woman of her individuality or freedom to express herself through fashion.
Kiekie also touched on the guilt that mothers are often made to feel whenever they choose to enjoy personal time away from their children. She described how people would question her decision to go out without her baby, as though motherhood meant being tied to one’s child at all times.
“I have noticed also that when you have a child and you go out, the first thing people ask you is where your child is. You can see me in a club at 1am, why would the child be here? Are you trying to guilt-trip me? I don’t get it,” she remarked.
Her comments reflect a wider societal issue where women are often judged more harshly for seeking balance between parenting and personal life.
Further into the conversation, Kiekie revealed how even compliments directed at her often come with condescending undertones. She cited examples of people undermining her hard work and independence by suggesting that her success is tied to her husband’s support.
“The one that gets to me is that even when people compliment me they say things like ‘you have a husband who can help you.’ And to them it’s a compliment—you’re insulting me,” she said.
For Kiekie, such remarks diminish her efforts and wrongly assume that her achievements are not the result of her own labor and ambition.
Ending on a reflective note, Kiekie stressed that changing these societal attitudes requires a collective shift in mindset, especially among women. “They’re thinking I don’t have any problems because I have a husband. If you want to do something, I can meet my husband, it makes no sense. I’m the one who is meant to fight for my dreams, not using him as a backup plan,” she said.
She added, “We have a very long way to go because women themselves need to be reoriented. We can’t expect change to come from the men, it has to come from us.”
